The clock.

By Nick Kirsch on February 8, 2012 11:14 PM | No TrackBacks
It is a rare moment that I sit alone with my thoughts. A fire burns gently beside me, powered by invisible gas - warmth that continues indefinitely, effortlessly enabled by the push of a button. 

I sit in a magnificent home - one which exceeds my expectations, and feels foreign. My family rests above me in the bedroom, presumably gaining strength and enjoying their dreams. For the moment, they feel foreign - in the land of sleep, while I remain awake. 

My own moments are far and few between. I wake to the gentle nudge or grating shrill of an alarm, faced immediately with the pressure of the clock. On days when the office isn't demanding my attention, a child will be tugging and grasping for it. 

I move from one moment of responsibility to another - always on the clock.

This is truly a rare gift - a fleeting sense of freedom, of control. 

As quickly as it emerged, it dissipates. I may control these words - but not the timeline in which they are created. The clock constantly reminds me that I'm on borrowed time; this freedom tonight is only stolen from tomorrow's responsibility. 

Back on the clock.

Balancing 2012

By Nick Kirsch on November 27, 2011 2:59 PM

My last resolution post was way back in January of 2010 and highlighted a few areas of focus:

  • Swimming
  • Reading (books)
  • Writing (on the blog)
  • Health
  • Japanese

I didn't stay focused on most of these things in 2010 or 2011; a few events pre-empted my wonderfully scripted world:

I did take swimming lessons, bought a kindle, read over ten books, and began a running program - so I made progress!

As I think about 2012 and where it is headed, I came up with the few themes that I want to focus on. Not surprisingly, they have a lot in common with 2010, 2008, 2007, 2006 ...

  • Health: Bike to work, regular running, and back to swimming lessons.
  • Family: Date nights with Eriko, more time with kids, and more talk with siblings and cousins.
  • Growth: Read more books, write more blogs, and find ways for "me" time.
  • Hobbies: Build more crafts, work on the MG, and upgrade computing environment.

My theme for 2012: Balance

Balance activity with serenity,
wealth with simplicity,
persistence with innovation,
community with solitude,
familiarity with adventure,
constancy with change, 
leading with following.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Better learn balance. Balance is key.

Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?

- Mr. Miyagi

Life is often compared to a marathon, but I think it is more like being a sprinter; long stretches of hard work punctuated by brief moments in which we are given the opportunity to perform at our best.

- Michael Johnson

The family - gorgeous!

By Nick Kirsch on August 14, 2011 9:15 PM | No TrackBacks

DSC06935

Eriko's family is safe...

By Nick Kirsch on March 19, 2011 10:29 PM | No TrackBacks

I've received many inquiries about Eriko's family - from far and wide. Old friends, distant family, and far away co-workers - some of whom I haven't talked with in years - reached out to make sure that Eriko and her family were doing well.

The good news is that Eriko's immediate family is in Nagoya and most of her relatives and friends are in Nagoya. Nagoya was not impacted much by the quake/tsunami nor is it near the reactors.
The bad news is she does have relatives that are closer to Tokyo. All are safe, but some did have some fairly significant damage to their homes and/or businesses. Her Aunt and Uncle are still without running water, even though we're ten days from the onset of the tremors. They also don't have any natural gas, but that is of little consequence to them in particular. Amazingly, a neighbor in the area has well water and is supplying neighbors who don't. Her Aunt and Uncle cannot function in their jobs (as a dentist and researcher) either due to lack of water/electricity or because of damage to instruments - so what do they do? They volunteer their time for those who are in shelters.
These are some very strong people.

 

Old House vs New Home

By Nick Kirsch on March 7, 2011 10:23 PM | 2 Comments | No TrackBacks
Here is a picture of our home as it currently stands:


Here is a rendition of where we are heading:


The tenants move out at the end of April and then construction starts.

Wheee!

The Remodel

By Nick Kirsch on February 15, 2011 8:54 PM | No TrackBacks
It has started. After the acquisition of the company I'm working for, I'm now in a position to move faster on the remodel of our home rather than slower. We are excited.

We're working with a build/design firm called Build, LLC who just continue to live up to their reputation as being principled, cost-conscious and having good aptitude for modern design. We're not yet into the build phase, but if you spend some time on this site you should have complete confidence in their abilities: http://www.ahousebythepark.com/journal/. It is a complete step-by-step look at the building of a modern home and is fantastically done. Not only do I have a random web reference, but a close co-worker and the SVP of my department both used Build for their remodels.

Our house, and some of the accompanying design challenges it presents, was recently featured on Build's Blog: http://blog.buildllc.com/2011/02/the-conundrum-of-gables/. 

Don't expect to see regular updates on here, but maybe I'll get around to posting a picture of the design or progress...

The House Hunting Adventure...

By Nick Kirsch on December 6, 2010 8:39 PM | No TrackBacks
  • Plan A - ask neighboring office if they'll sell and allow us to expand our condo by a single room.
  • Plan B - low-bid for an OK home on a decent lot.
  • Plan C - reasonable bid for a wonderful home in a decent spot. No yard, busy street.
  • Plan D - remodel existing home. Cost prohibitive.
  • Plan E - buy multi-tenant home on nice lot with current rental income. Potential for later...
Plan E won. I'd love to write more, but between exciting things at work, getting a little time for fun, and playing with the kids, this is the most time I've had in weeks.

More Love

By Nick Kirsch on October 7, 2010 9:55 PM | No TrackBacks
This is a previously unpublished blog entry that I wrote before Momoko's birth. It touches me to publish it, unaltered, now that she is almost eight months old.

The clock ticks towards the arrival of our second. We don't know if a little boy or a little girl is kicking their legs inside of Eriko's ever expanding belly. We don't know what this child will look like, sound like, or act like.

I don't remember what I was thinking with Jerry - fear, apprehension, excitement? That is almost four years ago - which is amazing to comprehend. I don't remember each detail of Jerry growing up, but I do know that I feel intense fondness whenever I think of him.

Now I worry - when there is a second - do I have to share my love? Does Jerry get less of me? Surely less of my time, less of my attention, less of my patience. These things just must be - I am finite; Eriko is finite. Is my love finite - does Jerry get less of me?

There is no doubt that Jerry has brought tremendous joy to Eriko and I - but he also changed our lives. We don't have the same time for each other, the same attention in each other, the same patience for each other. Yet, Jerry's love more than replaces what we give to him. I have to share Eriko with him and yet, our love for each other isn't diminished - changed, for sure - but no less.

Amidst my apprhension, there is sadness - I will miss these days. Jerry is my only son, my only child. In some ways, it is the sadness that occurs in the passing of time - the fear that things just couldn't possibly get better. I hope, and deep down I know, that despite what we will all invest, this child will bring out even more from us all.

What's an angel, Daddy?

By Nick Kirsch on June 1, 2010 11:10 PM | 1 Comment | No TrackBacks
Me: Mama, we have two angels in our house. 
Jerry: What's an angel, Daddy? 
Me: An angel is a special person ... 
Jerry: Then I'm an angel to you and you're an angel to me. Because I love you and you love me. 
Me: That's right, Jerry. 
Jerry: We have four angels, Daddy. Mama loves you and Mama loves Momo too. 

Love - pass it on!

Early Morning

By Nick Kirsch on May 24, 2010 6:08 AM | No TrackBacks
When my mind wanders to the subject of this blog, it quickly tries to fill the hole in my submission record with a dramatic tale - me, live-blogging daily as the world around me collapses. Why such dark images are conjured up when I consider writing my thoughts down is still a mystery - left for another entry.

I love early mornings - the quiet, the sunrise, the independence. I walk to work and the air is cool and crisp: enough to make your hands numb but not enough to seep into your core. Today I'm at work at 6:07 and (once I finish this) ready to jump-start what I hope will be a productive day.

Early mornings have a downside though, a double-edged sword. It is leaving the house before the three people I care most about wake up. Jerry, in particular, is especially distraught when I leave early. Two out of three mornings it will drive him to tears to find me missing. If I don't leave the house before he wakes up, then I'm committed to spending at least thirty minutes with him and more  likely an hour. It is just as difficult for me to separate myself from him.

He's so good at waking up soon after me that I have to wake up at five AM if I'm to get an early start. Last night before bed he stated plainly, "Daddy, I wake up when you do."


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